conversation had origins here.....

i guess we all have our rightful observations and things that we all noe about someone that others might not noe. Thus, we place our hurt and pain above the whole picture. In many instances, we wonder why we even bother about the people who hurt us, the fact that we still hold the grudge and we hold that unforgiveness is evident of the control that we allow the particular person to hold in our lives.

I've often been amused by this term "benefit of the doubt". u noe how someone goes and says, "well, just give him/her the benefit of the doubt"- that is to me is making a conscious decision to see/bring out the best in someone. Yes, how on earth do we do that?? I admit myself having gossiped while in anger and bitterness at many people who have trodden on my feelings, maybe done it on purpose or without even noeing it. Now, looking back i have resolved to be slightly more perceptive of what comes out of my mouth. But i also realise that they are probably a million people whom i have done the same thing to. Sometimes vicously and maliciously i noe that i'm out to hurt someone, sometimes i hurt the ones whom i love the most.... and other times we don't even noe when we've dealt a harsh blow. it's cruel and undeserving.

back to this "benefit of the doubt"- i would sum it up in the word grace. Its a fact: Life deals blows. The damage it does to us- it is out of our control. But listen to this- the damage that it does to our perceptions of ourselves is fully within our control. No one can make you feel any less than you consent to it. Why grace? Why live by grace when u can live in a vengeful- an eye for an eye world? Because i believe that our attitude towards life is a 2 way street.

what do i mean by 2 way street? If i constantly have a life stance, which is a set of attitudes, assumptions and expectations that i hold about myself, others and about life itself-- i would believe in the value of reciprosity. People spending a huge- or even a little less time with you would have those same values somehow being rubbed off on them. I guess the High Road is the road les often travelled. Because we are recepients of grace- we show grace as well. This requires us to do things which are not natural or common. e.g (not keeping count of others mistakes, learning to forgive, and learning to serve others)- After all if u wanna be a leader, u've gotta learn how to serve.

The redeeming virtue of being a giver of grace- is when you're right and the other person is wrong... and your natural inclination over that person is to win (to gloat over a moral battle being won), but the giving of grace (allowing that person to have another chance) is what will set u aside to have the greatess victory of all.

In short-
Why forgive? because we need to be forgiven as well.

"He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities" isaiah 53:5