You never really left...

Dear Jean,

When you came into our lives we did not know what to expect. You were a white ball of fluff, your previous owners loved you tremendously- despite your struggles and injury, you always remained cheerful and happy with the little things in life. Jean, i remember carrying you home the first day (dec 2006). You are a part of our family, and we will miss you dearly.

It was really sudden, but i guess there was no long suffering or enduring pain.
Everything will remind us of you- your basket, waterbowls, towels we used to wipe and blow dry you after your shower, your fluffy toys which you loved to play with so dearly.

How can i say i'm sorry? For being so far away when you left, i never even got to say goodbye. You were always there for me when i was feeling down, when i slept on the floor mattress you would come lie on my pillow next to my head. You were so faithful Jeanie baby, always waiting for us to get home and always happy to see us.

I remember how you got sick once, too weak to lift your head, too tired to wag your tail. Even after your spay operation you were so glad to be home. I cannot imagine how much mommy and daddy miss you. When at last you gave in, on the way to the hospital.

We can cry and cry, that we couldn't bring you back, that we will not hear your footsteps in the house, or you wolfing down your food in the kitchen.

Empty spaces where you should be, in the corner watching Dad doing the housework, lazing by the tv, bringing your toy and insisting we play with you, lying down to sleep on the bed.

Is it selfish of me to want you back? To cuddle you one more time? To bury my face in your baby-shampooed fur? We all need you so much, you have taught us so much... but now you are resting. No more hobbling around, no more pain...

Where are you our jeanie? Do you miss us? Do you know how much we miss you? Will we see you again? I think you are still here, forever etched in our memories... still wanting boiled chicken, some sliced apple, hagling for a quick playful romp.

Our little white fluffy angel. We will see you again soon.

I love you so much,
Your big sister mishi

I lay on my bed sobbing after the news of jean came thru my phone via sms this morning.
Mango came to snuggle beside me almost to say "Don't worry mama i'm here" , she knew i was upset- such is the unconditional love of dogs.

If only dogs lived longer lives, I know one day this sorrow will return. But for now, i will love Mango with all my heart.