Compassion

An incident which happened in class yesterday made me really think.
You know, i wasn't expecting to be blessed with a job so early in my summer break. Sometimes the more i think about it, i guess it was sort of in a shocking manner 'thrust' upon me. Maybe that's why it took me til today to realise i didn't mentally prepare myself for the challenge. Or maybe i never could have been prepared, and this is just the beginning of something God is revealing.

Basically, the students i teach are sitting for their O and N levels as private candidates. We run the learning centre very much like a normal school- polo tees for uniforms, recess breaks, no dyed hair etc etc. Thing is, many of the students are here either because they have bad records in their schools and can't go to government schools or they're re-taking their examinations, or in some cases like my brother and a few, have had their education elsewhere and now need to obtain a Cambridge certificate to move along the singapore system.

I didn't realise my attitude was bad til yesterday. (don't worry, i didn't do anything bad) It's just that an incident (involving a student who was rude to me) made me think, and i revealed my innermost thoughts. maybe alot of times i thought that i could be doing better things, other things rather then in a classroom with rowdy students, or maybe i thought that i should, or deserved to teach students who were 'easier' to teach. It was eating me up.

Bottomline is: You can't be an effective teacher if you don't respect and love your students. You cannot teach if you are not teachable yourself.

The word of God reveals the hearts of men in amazing ways...when during my QT i realised that i was tired, angry and frustrated at myself, a huge surge of compassion overwhelmed me from the top of my head to my toes. I felt like weeping. I felt ugly for all the things and all the pride that i had shown in dealing with kids who simply needed love and acceptance. I thank God for giving me the time and oppurtunity to touch all these individual lives and faces who have potential and hope in Him.