Forgiveness

What gives so much force to the impulse of anger in such cases [of unforgiveness] is the overwhelming sense that the offender does not deserve forgiveness. That is, the grievance is so deep and so justifiable that not only does self-righteousness strengthen our indignation, but so does a legitimate sense of moral outrage. It's the deep sense of legitimacy that gives our bitterness its unbending compulsion. We feel that a great crime would be committed if the magnitude of the evil we've experienced were just dropped and we let bygones be bygones. We are torn: our moral sense says this evil cannot be ignored, and the Word of God says we must forgive.

In his penetrating book, Christian Commitment, Edward John Carnell described this conflict between moral outrage and forgiveness as the "judicial predicament." He said, "We cannot ignore inconsiderate acts in others yet we cannot execute the penalty of law. We have no right to complete the moral cycle... Although we sense no spiritual inhibition against crying out against injustice, the purity of our moral life deteriorates the moment we attempt to administer justice." Nevertheless the indignation we feel usually gets the upper hand and holds onto the offense, because it would be morally repugnant to make light of the wrong.

Now we can see why the biblical promise of God's judgement is so crucial in helping overcome this craving for revenge. It gives us a way out of the "judicial predicament."

God intervenes as the avenger so that we can acknowledge the crime; but also so that we don't have to be the judge. God's promised vengeance removes the moral legitimacy of our personal cravings for retaliation. God's promise says, "Yes, an outrage has been committed against you.

Yes it deserves to be severely punished. Yes, the person has not yet experienced that punishment. But, No, you must not be the one to punish, and you may not go on relishing personal retribution. Why? Because God will see to it that justice is done. God will repay. You cannot improve on his justice. He sees every angle of the evil done against you - far better than you can see it. His justice will be more thorough than any justice you could administer." If you hold a grudge, you doubt the judge."

When other Christians have done you wrong:

"Therefore when God says, "Vengeance is mine," the meaning is more than we may have thought. God underatakes vengeance against sin not only by means of hell, but also by means of the cross. All sin will be avenged - severely and thoroughly and justly

......I don't need to get even, because [the other person's] sin was laid on Jesus, and he has suffered horribly to bear it for him/her - and for me.

Application

It may be that, as you read this, no long-term grudges come to mind. Perhaps God has remarkably freed you from old hurts and dissapointments and given you the grace to lay them down. But be sure to test yourself about short-term anger as well. Are there repeated present frustrations that may not have the character of long-term bitterness, but are like chronic reappearences of the same short-term anger? Are there traits of your children or your spouse or your church or your boss that week after week provoke you so deeply that you grit your teeth and rehearse in your head all the reasons why this is intolerable and should not go on?

My experience has been that there is as much struggle with unbelief in these short-term, recurrent frustrations as there is in the long-term bitterness for some great abuse or betrayal. Here too we need to trust God's promises in a practical, day-by-day way.

John Piper's 'Future Grace'
Courtesy from Derek Dieu

Here's another one of MC Escher's drawings called "Gravity"  

Bought this replica of a drawing by MC Escher. very visually stimulating.  

Phrase of the day:

me: i'm going to iron the floor.
Bro: you're going to what?
me: Iron the floor. you wanna help?
Bro: you mean vacuum the floor.
me: ya, wasn't that wat i said?
Bro: sigh

Its the debilitating disease of the usage of wrong english words i'm suffering from.

save me.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		6
Receiving Gifts:		4
Acts of Service:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

This Singapore Election Website is quite interesting.

Peruse the political blogs under the links if you have too much time to spare.

ok wait a minute....

RAYNER is a food/culinary critic???


Check this out!

i gave my brother an origami crane.
(for those of you who watch Prison Break, i think its very significant)
haha.

ok, in the show the younger brother would find a crane in the morning left by the older brother- it meant that although he never always saw his brother in person, the older brother was always checking in on him and making sure he was ok. In the show, the cranes stood for familial obligation, watching out for your own.

I thought it was very apt.
so i made a crane for my brother, to tell him just that.
That Jesus is always checking in and making sure he's ok, and so will i.

okay, i'm such a gong.
if i'd known that there was a place in the library called the scholars' centre... just for me.
grrr... i wldn't have to work downstairs with the rest of the general population. (gen pop, they call it in prison break).
HAHA.
i'm working in here from now on. HA.
so cool, i get to swipe my card on the door for access.

call me a gong. haha.

Psalms 13 should be found in lamentations.

"How long O lord? will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long shall i take counsel in my soul
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?"

"how long?"
Have you heard it before?
haha, i have.
i think kids are a good example. "How long til we get to granny's place?" "How long til the movie starts?" How long, how long.
And i realised that children have no concept of minutes or miles. it would seem useless for me to explain how exactly time works.

i think just like a little child- i sometimes ask God... "how long?"
How long must i endure this pain? this hurt? this sickness? this temptation? this sin?
Do i really want God to answer? would i really understand His perfect plan? not in a million years i would think.

Children can't envision the reward either- i can tell my 6 yr old cousins that we'll be at granny's house soon and we'll have really good food to eat. fish maw soup, i said. i love her fish maw soup, and i'd drive 6 hours for my granny's fish maw soup. (if there was 6 hours of driving in singapore)
i can endure the journey because i know the destiny. but my cousins? a whole other story. i try to help them to see what they can't see, i describe the soup and how it tastes absolutely scrumptious.... and how granny cooks it for hours.
And it works! their grumbling decreases as their vision clears.

i think that's what Paul meant by motivation- he had a clear vision of the reward.
"Therefore do not lose heart. Though we are outwardly wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. " 2 cor 4:16-18

And yes, when we compare our lives now to the life we have in Christ- "our days on earth are like shadows" 1 chron 29:15.
our lives are "but a breath" Ps 39:5.
Altho i really doubt Paul's troubles and persecutions in the Roman empire were " light and momentary". more like long and trying ordeals.

I know for some of you the journey has been long. very long and stormy. In no way do i wish to minimize the difficulties that you have had to face along the way. And you are tired and weary.
But God is telling us, " It's worth it.".... God is saying,"I'm worth it"

Yesterday's challenges are lost in today's joy. if only we could see it.
Remember this: God may not do what you want. but he will do what is right... and best.
He's the father of forward motion. Trust Him. He will get you home.
And its ok, close your eyes and rest. The trials of the trip will be lost in the joys of the feast.

The art of losing myself

Law of the urban jungle during the easter weekend:

If you see a chocolate, catch it and eat it before it escapes.

quite disturbed about a conversation i had with someone recently, altho i'm sure that the person didn't mean to deliberately say certain things which meant what they meant.

Picking up on the point of -is anyone going to be in heaven because of you?
This person was talking about the need to serve because people need him/her. And i cautiously mentioned his/her unwillingness to let go of the "title" or job scope might just be the thing that someone else needs to step up and grow. Sometimes 'letting go' has the same connotations as giving up or quitting. But that's a seriously wrong perception.

One is about willingness and surrender, the other is due to the lack of hope or will.
The fact that i want to reiterate is- nobody is going to heaven because of me or you.
Yes, we can do what we can with Go'd's heartbeat that none shall perish. But ultimately the saving power doesn't lie with us. So i don't think that i can elevate myself to that position to say that 'so and so' is saved because of me. In fact, the reason why tonnes of people don't go to church today is because the church is so full of people worshipping themselves and their churches rather then what God has done, is doing and can do.

i can't tidy my room because its been declared a UN world heritage site.

i absolutely detest the idea of studying law, or memorising section this of this and that.
But you can't exactly avoid the subject of law in political science.
Especially not when the unit says: Topics in political theory, political behaviour and political institutions. Gah. kill me.

Thus, the essay i'm typing about the British constitution; or the non-existence of it, is the reason for my pain and agony. everything is dry and boring. not even the picture of Tony Blair i happened to stumble upon.

Anyhoos, Easter is coming- and that'll alleviate some of my pain. hehe.
Plus my new toy! been very excited about it-- thanks dad n mom for the early birthday gift!

why can't i have a dissertation which is also a good topic for over the dinner conversation?

And no, it ain't dessert.

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

Your love is extravagent- by Casting Crowns

When i am weak, You restore me
when i come to the end of myself, Your glory unfolds
when i fall, You pick me up
when i have no hope, You strengthen me
when i feel exhausted, You fill my cup til it overflows.
Jesus, nothing is impossible for You.
Yes, Your love is extravagant.

Though i am young, and cannot tell
Either what Death or Love is well
Yet i have heard they both bear darts,
And both do aim at human hearts
And then again, i have been told
Love wounds with heat, as Death with cold;
So that i fear they do but bring
Extremes to touch, and mean one thing.

As in ruin we it call
One thing to be blown up, or fall;
Or to our end like way may have
By a flash of lightning, or a wave
So Love's inflamed shaft or brand
May kill as soon as Death's cold hand;
Except Love's fires the virtue have
To fright the frost out of the grave.

Ben Jonson 1640-41

Love must be tough.

its not easy... but even heroes have the right to bleed.

Thank you Jesus.

Today was ultra sports marathon.
haha ok not so ultra.
just swimming and badminton.

think i'm getting slower.

Chewing on morsels.

i never knew interview transcripts were so interesting to read.
Until i had to throughly scan thru quite a few for my research. Its amusing how the transcript describes the emotion/ frustration/ fidgety-ness of the interviewee. haha
Now abit stone and drowsy.

i have a long week ahead, seminar presentation on tuesday ;( *ugh*
been thinking about putting ideas running about in my head for my dissertation- think i shld just do it soon and not simply wait for them to dissolve into thin air.

i need colourful ziggy markers- the kind i used in sec school to make my history notes.... they make me slightly more sane, have more inspiration to do my mind-mapping. ;p

Anyhoos, this thing has been on my mind for a very long time already- can you think you know someone but not really know him/her? You are honest and transparent with the person, but you never got the sense that it was returned. I'm never a person who holds petty grudges or counts financial debts, but in restrospect i feel that all the effort put in on my part over the years has just been "abandoned" because of the person's passiveness and unwillingness to step out of his/her comfort zone to acknowledge people who have always been there, yet never appreciated.

I guess the feeling of "taken for granted" sums up my whole experience- not to say i have given up. The friendship is always special and has a place in my heart... if ever he/she opens up, is willing to be honest and be herself/himself with me. Even if that never occurs again, i will still go the extra mile if asked to. i believe you will find yourself and i believe you will accomplish great things. i have always known that to be in you.

That finally aside and off my mind- Easter break is coming.... also means deadlines for dissertation proposal and all other random things will start crashing and clanging in my puny brain.

that didn't make any sense did it?

well, if i could stop reading radical/ extremist Islamic views towards the west and moderate muslim's responses towards global events maybe... just maybe i'll be slightly more coherent.

ok, shut up mishi.
*ugh*