In Your Skin

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it"

-To Kill a Mockingbird

End in Mind

Everytime i open my Word document to pick up where i left off from typing my 3k word draft which is due on tues (read: weds or thurs?) i feel like i'm not putting in the amount of words i would have liked to. i always end off attending to smth urgent (read: distracting) or i scurry off to do those little things- other readings, research that might seem useful (read: analysing tabloids or reading front page news).

Anyway, have u ever felt like u're going in circles and that this vicious cycle is never going to end? like some hamster stuck in a cage with one of those revolving thingys.
The end in mind helps me to focus a lil' better. Results and academic achievement isn't everything to life. But if the journey makes me stronger, a lil' more resilient and helps build my character-- it's all worth the while ; )

Have the end in mind!

I Am that I Am

I know it sounds like bad english. But God said it. He said it in Exodus 3:14.

"I AM THAT I AM", He said to Moses "Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, I AM has sent me to you."
And that is God's name, not ours. Because God is "I AM" we become "i am not".

I am not in charge
I am not in control
I am not a life changer
I am not a heart mover
I am not a city transformer

He is
He is
He is
To all of the above, He is.

"I Am" in literal hebrew translation means "breath", or simply "to be"- existance.

Surely the number of "I"s in Exodus 3 indicate the sure-ness (if there's such a word) of God in making a covenant with Himself to deliver His people. What's the catch?

Ex 4:12 "Now therefore go and I will be with you."
You Go, He is.
You Go, He is.

guess what.

You don't Go, He still is.
God is God. That doesn't change.

Singaporean?

"We ask ourselves, what is a Singaporean? In the first place, we did not want to be Singaporeans. We wanted to be Malayans. Then the idea was extended and we decided to become Malaysians. But twenty-three months of Malaysia- a traumatic experience for all parties in Malaysia- ended rather abruptly with our being Singaporeans. "

-Lee Kuan Yew

Lethologica

describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Hillsongs sharing

Just wanted to post up something i shared during service- as a personal update as well.
Be blessed.

Be Connected
“I will serve God in my generation with contemporary relevance.”
Nancy Beach “Good Drama breaks down defenses; it lays bare what daily life covers up and creates identification.”
Contrary to popular belief, the church is not peripheral to the world. I believe we can be relevant to the youth of today, to connect with the average Joe.
The body of Christ is not exclusive to any particular era or geographical location.
Every one of you seated here, beneath your jackets, your glasses, your countenance- every single one of you knows that life is difficult- whether or not you’re a Christian. We’re not here to pretend that it is easy, let our art form be relevant to reveal the truths of life and bring the hope we have through Jesus Christ.

Be Consumed
“God is just as pleased with my private worship as with my public ministry/worship”

With the great songs and catchy tunes that are being consumed in the market today- do we have a “consumer” heart or a heart that is consumed by God?
Be consumed- ask yourself this, if you were never going to serve god publicly- would you still be worshipping Him in your personal life, behind closed doors?
God is bigger than your dry spell, bigger than your famine.
Just a day or two ago, I had a chat with 2 friends and they were disappointed with their results- they were saying “But I worked so hard, I put in all of my effort and all of my ability.”
It was in that split second that I realized- God needs to diminish you in order to deliver you.
He is not interested in our comfort, he wants our obedience.
Are we making MUCH of our God? Or MUCH of ourselves?

Be Compassionate
Pro 31:8 “Speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.”

I do politics and have been watching the news for years- I try to watch it everyday or read it online. And 3 days ago I broke down watching the news about the war between Israel and Hezbollah. I’d realized how insensitive and numb I allowed myself to become to the suffering and injustice of this world. The town in which Jesus grew up in, and the region in which he healed the sick and raised people from the dead is now embroiled in one of the most heated conflicts in recent history. Amidst the violence, a journalist interviewed a man caught in the crossfire, he had lost his daughter and wife to the missile attacks. He said words I’ll never forget. He said, “I don’t care, it’s not fair. I will not pay for someone else’s crime.” Such strong words with strong contrast to a man who came 2000 years ago and said “I will pay for all of your crimes.”

The world needs a savior, they need Jesus. Our God is passionate about people. Are you passionate about people?

Exodus 3:7 “I have seen the misery of my people. I have heard their cries.”
Our God cannot stand injustice, pain and suffering. What can’t you stand?
Align your discontentment and frustrations with God’s heart. Plead the cause of the poor and needy, not just physical poverty- but spiritual poverty and lack.
Stir up something in your heart that will not rest. When you touch lives and love people- especially the least of them- you touch Jesus’ heart.

Snapshots of Life

Marianne's mindless Meme's Tag.


These are my crocs. They look rugged and old, but technically i only got them end of last year. They're comfy and very easy to slip on, so far its been thru water, fire (yes, got a lil' burnt) and trekking. i quite like them.
This is not meant to be cliche, but i think i wldn't really know how to live without it. Very privileged for me to get a new one. (i liked my old one alot- it was my mom's thinline bible.) Nikki gave me a smaller one, so i'm starting to get used to this one ;)
i need music! hehe.

Procrastin-X...

Procrastin-X...contains phenalazidine slackahide 200mg

i think i'm experiencing what you would call a constant state of "depression"- whats another word for depression?? despair? hopelessness, misery...
its the kinda feeling when u wake up in the morning and go about your daily chores with this thing at the back of your head called "A THESIS".

anyhow, i've figured the best way to deal with it is to ignore it (for now, until that option runs out of time) or i'll just go mad. my supervisor is calm, as the stagnant water ponds that breed dengue mosquitoes. (that was a lousy expression, but anything goes now). Either that or she's extremely confident that i'll produce a flawless 15,000 word argument without her help (much help that is).

oh bugger off, i need a dosage of Procrastin-X now.

Forgery

This forgery business is a tough one.
You know how when you were younger and you forgot to let your parents sign a consent form for a school excursion (which you badly wanted to go for).
Or when you're slightly older (but still underage) and you need that signature for some important document and they're nowhere in sight.

Do you then forge their signatures? Yes/No
Tip: signing surnames are easier than the long and actual names.
Another tip: don't sign it so alike to your own signature, so that when u place both side by side you're almost certain to get caught.

Most of us (who read this) don't need parental signatures anymore, and some (like me) need advisors to sign forms for applications for a desk in the scholars' centre. (*&#$*^#)

I know this is random. just whining. Gaaaaaah....

Joga Bonita Skills

my eyes are spinning... hee

Joga Bonita 2

it's the fever.

Crouch cannot play complicated football.... how many times does he have to miss in order to net ONE????

Congrats Ray and Evee on your Engagement!!! all of us are excited and can't wait til the wedding next year!!! To my friend of *counts fingers* 11 years- you've found the lady of your dreams!! - To the lady (friend for 6 years now) Really amazed... May God bless you as a couple!!! ;p  

What a comeback by the aussies....

Go socceroos!

Opening Match

Quite befitting for the first match of 2006-- Germany vs Costa Rica 4-2.
Really quite entertaining seeing part of the barrage of goals in the first 20 mins.
You must give the South Americans some credit for pumping the ball to Wanchope or Gomez attempting to beat the offside flag in order to score goals.
Wanchope is leggy. haha. and tall- reminds me of Patrick Veira.
But the Germans came up on the better side, and just when u think they've scored it all, Frings hits one in from afar.

i should study/sleep.... study in my sleep now. *yawns*

A Plague i say! i Plague on ALL your houses. (most it seems)

Brazil- Ronaldo missed training yesterday after waking up with a 'slight fever' five days before Brazil start their World Cup defence against Croatia.

England- Steven Gerrard missed Wednesday's training session with what coach Sven-Goran Eriksson described as a 'stiff back'.
But the player told reporters yesterday: 'It's not really a back problem. I got a knock on my hip and it's just made my back go into spasm a bit.

Germany- Michael Ballack, the symbol of the new German team, regrets he cannot make it to the ball. He has a sore calf muscle and did not think it serious enough to get treatment on Monday, his day-off with the kids at home.

France- Djibril Cisse, the Liverpool forward whose luck is so wretched, had broken his right leg in a warm-up match against China on Wednesday.

Italy- Francesco Totti has bemoaned the Azzurri's bad luck after they were hit by a series of late injuries ahead of their opening World Cup match against Ghana on Monday. In the last two days, full-back Gianluca Zambrotta and midfielder Gennaro Gattuso have been ruled out of Italy's opener with thigh injuries. Alessandro Nesta also aggravated an old muscle injury and missed training yesterday.

Working Versus Striving by Os Hillman, May 24, 2006


So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty." - Zechariah 4:6

Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do.

It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference? When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work.

What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.

It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."

Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.

Perused from Biling's blog.

I don't have anything smart to say. haha.

So i'll talk about the exam food i've been munching on recently.

1. Poppycock caramel popcorn - deliciously glazed with sugar and cashew nuts, so scrumptious and crunchy- you can't resist it!

2. Heaven (brand) of chocolate- i've liked the strawberry and raspberry flavoured ones. The honeycomb is yum!

3. Chai tea- 'nuff said!

4. Fruits- which my bro kindly slices for me ;) esp apples to keep the doctor away!

5. Red bull- gives you wings.

6. some coffee, on some days. ;(

7. Cranberry juice- for sour days.

I so want to be here.  

Was driving back from netball along thomas st/ Winthrop ave when i saw a fox near the curb of the road. (think it came from Kings' park)

So i slowed down, and upon seeing my headlights it ran off into the woods.

interesting.

instead of chickens- we now have foxes.
so why did the fox attempt to cross the road?

How long O Lord? will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must i wrestle with my thoughts and everyday have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O lord my god.
Give light to my eyes or i will sleep in death,
my enemy will say," i have overcome her" and my foes will rejoice when i fall.

But i trust in your UNFAILING love.
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will SING to the Lord for He has been good to me.

Psalms 13

i can only wait and believe.

today i missed a step and fell physically.

still feel like i'm fallen.

can i not get up?

Please PRAY.

Updates- 3000 dead in region of Yogyakarta.

Death toll rises.

"Welcome child," he said.

"Aslan, said Lucy, You're bigger."

"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.

"Not because you are?"

"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

C.S Lewis 'Chronicles of Narnia: Book 2- Prince Caspian'

"Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

The everlasting God, the Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth,

Neither faints nor is weary.

There is no searching of His understanding.

He gives power to the weak,

And to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary.

And young men will stumble and fall.

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

I'm going mad.
i have a 4000 word essay due on monday.



and my coordinator is still in the process of approving my question.


going to jump in the hole now.
.
.
.
.

My baby of a dissertation...

Some of you know what my thesis is about, well today i'm going to 'think-out-loud'... been reading quite a bit... and i've all these concepts and ideas and links.
I'm looking at post 9-11 Singapore: evolving citizenship, estranged identities and enforced security-- Assessing the govt's responses towards the Malay-Muslim community.
It's really interesting to unpack all the academic/scholarly work that has been done on our citizenship, multiculturalism, 'social cohesion', a sense of national identity.
And in trying to make sense of it all... this quote struck me:

"If you care too much about Singapore, first it'll break your spirit, and finally it will break your heart."
-Alfian Saat

Been reading this blog my housemate stumbled upon: one of the many politicised blogs in Singapore now... and i love how she phrases this....

"Singapore, then, is a nation I have always envisaged as a child who went to sleep and, without knowing it, grew to be a man. In his slumber he aged, matured, became strong-limbed and nimble, powerful and beautiful, and yet remained imprisoned in his lethargy. Sedated by peace and numbed by comfort, he was content to lie mute, deaf, non-assertive. But of late his sleep is restless, disturbed by ugly images. His once-blissful dreams have been tinged with unease. Something has gone wrong. Something is not right. And he stirs - a little finger trembles here, a heartbeat quickens there - and soon he will awaken. His eyes will open and he will discover that he has autonomy over his self, his person, that he has power invested in those hands.

And he must do this before a child's cradle turns into a man's grave."
-Gayle Goh


Just something to digest.... ;p

Read~Squint~type~read more~eat~sleep~drink coffee~type~read~read~type~highlight~print~printer no ink!~get printer catridge~type~Read~toilet~drink water~eat~type... type... type....




going mad.

"Do not fear, for i am with you; Do not be dismayed, for i am your God."

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

How long have I been in this storm* so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form* Water's getting harder to tread with these waves crashing over my head* if I could just see you everything will be alright* if I'd see you the storminess will turn to light

And I will walk on water* and you will catch me if I fall * And I will get lost into your eyes * And everything will be alright and everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown *so why am I 10 feet under and upside down *Barely surviving has become my purpose *cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

* if I could just see you everything will be alright *if I see you the storminess will turn to light *

And I will walk on water and you will catch me if I fall *And I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright and I will walk on water you will catch me if I fall and I will get lost into your eyes and everything will be alright I know *

Everything is alright everything's alright

"Storm" - Lifehouse

Thanks for the song Jon.

can't think.
my brain hurts.

" The concept of a 'nation' is a goal rather than an actuality. Put simply, nations are not creatures of 'God's hand': instead they are synthetic- they have to be created in a complicated educational process through generations. "

- Alter P "Nationalism" (1989)

I Look to You

"Lord if it's you," Peter says, "Tell me to come to you on the water" Matt 14:28 NIV

Peter is not testing Jesus; he is pleading with Jesus. Stepping onto a stormy sea is not a move of logic; it is a move of desperation. Peter grabs the edge of the boat. Throws out a leg... follows with the other. Several steps are taken. It's as if an invisible ridge of rocks runs beneath his feet. At the end of the ridge is the glowing face of a never-say-die friend.

We do the same don't we? We come to Christ in an hour of deep need. We abandon the boat of good works. We realize... that human strength won't save us. So we look to God in desperation. We realize... that all the good works in the world are puny when laid before the Perfect One.

Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment.

Mark 8:29 "But who do you say that i am?"
Who do you say Jesus is? Who is He to you?
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Roms 8:31

Work is.... mm i can never find an appropriate word to describe it. Well, it's just always there.... most times its piled higher. But.... one thing i can say about it, at least i'm loving what i do... there's a drive and passion. ; )

Booked my sydney plane tickets yesterday... very excited already! Looking at backpackers accommodation in the Town centre... and browsing through the train station system ; )
Its gonna be an exciting trip! can't wait for God to move, can't wait to worship with thousands of people at the sdyney superdome!! can't wait already... *rubs hands gleefully*

Think i'm gonna head to the scholars' centre to try and finish up a pile of readings and notes i must have said i'd go thru last week... thing is, the lit review and dissertation proposal are combined (DUE SOON!)... my faculty is funny... why can't i have the anthrop/Eng's style??? den again everything they have there is due earlier den mine... so i must be content and settle for this.

The parents are in Hokkaido at the moment... Sapporo to be exact... ;) The mom says its snowing and it resembles christmas... with plenty of coloured flowers. she got the biggest bouquet from my dad on mom's day;p my dad's so smart... haha. some bouquets u'll never fit into a house. *grins* WEll, happy mom's day!! My mom's always been one woman in my life who's been consistent with the truth she speaks into my life... always assures me that i don't need to do things, or achieve things. She's always affirming that she loves me for who i am.... my heart, my integrity, my ever-being-moulded character.... She's really and truly a woman of God. Small on the outside but big in heart and mind. She's the strongest woman i know... and she'll always be beautiful- from the inside out.

That's about all from me.... meanwhile i'm still sane, alive and kicking. While May is still here... and when June comes the exams arrive with it. Wake me up when October ends... i have no idea how supposedly stressed i'm supposed to be (if that makes any sense). Just glad that i've got ample time to space my thesis and other work and exams within an attainable time span. (hopefully!)

Technically i really dunno how things are gonna go.... BUT He is my refuge and strength. Don't you know? our God always delivers. ;p

Just felt like doing quizzes.

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty highly. You're completely devoted to your friends and family. Even if they totally screw up, you're still there for them. Just make sure they're equally loyal to you! Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity highly. So much so that you often put your own needs last. There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart... But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy. Humility: You value humility a fair amount. You tend to be an easy going, humble person. But occasionally your ego takes over. You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best. Tolerance: You value tolerance a fair amount. You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas. You have very few prejudices that you're aware of. And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

The Five Factor Values Test

I might just be in the wrong faculty.....

Your Scholastic Strength Is Developing Ideas

You can take a spark of inspiration and turn it into a full fledged concept. You are talented at brainstorming, visualizing, organizing, and independent thinking. You should major in: Natural sciences Computer science Creative writing Math Architecture Journalism

What Should You Major In?

"Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God. No one sins out of duty. We sin because it holds out some promise of happiness. That promise enslaves us until we believe that God is more to be desired than life itself (Psalm 63:3). All that God promises to be for us in Jesus stands over against what sin promises to be for us without Him."



"For God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."

John Piper's "Future Grace"

Where's that hole in the earth i mentioned a while back?

i still want to jump.




Dissertation topic refinement is such a pain in the....

Dedicated to Jo......

i like AmicaCuriae's summary of the results for the Singapore General Elections.

Somehow, in my years of shepherding... i've never felt more burdened to pray for my people ever. and that time is now. When i stop to think of all the times He has brought me through, i remember that its possible that someone was praying for me- a parent, a friend, a leader, an old church mate, a childhood friend...

I think, altho i may not have the closest relationships with my girls and boys (what i like to call them- apart from the term :cell group), its very fulfilling to see their lives growing- increasingly in their desire to draw near to God and also serving in ministry. I like my time with them... the younger ones, they like to laugh.... very loudly and in a rowdy fashion. haha, youngsters nowadays.... reminds me of myself last time ;p The older ones, struggling... but slowly God is unfolding His very marvellous plan in their lives.... amazing how He works. Praying for them, meeting up with them... going swimming with them, climbing with them...

And my time with Him. my gratitude cannot really be expressed tangibly. His grace, his mercy... his love. what more can i ask for? He forgives abundantly so i can have the strength to forgive. the conversations we have, the ups and downs... the inner struggles i face. He has been there and seen me through all of it. He is faithful when i'm not. He is steadfast when i'm wavering. He conquers when i'm defeated. He is made strong in my weaknesses.

my resting place. my secret place. ;p

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

Taken from Nikki

I chanced upon success. But i gave it such a fright that it ran away.

i feel healthy and alert once i've slept enough.
Sleeping purges me of all the doldrums of life.
gives me energy to face the day.
And strength to run the race.

*yawns*
and i can't get no satisfaction.
Zzzzzz....

Forgiveness

What gives so much force to the impulse of anger in such cases [of unforgiveness] is the overwhelming sense that the offender does not deserve forgiveness. That is, the grievance is so deep and so justifiable that not only does self-righteousness strengthen our indignation, but so does a legitimate sense of moral outrage. It's the deep sense of legitimacy that gives our bitterness its unbending compulsion. We feel that a great crime would be committed if the magnitude of the evil we've experienced were just dropped and we let bygones be bygones. We are torn: our moral sense says this evil cannot be ignored, and the Word of God says we must forgive.

In his penetrating book, Christian Commitment, Edward John Carnell described this conflict between moral outrage and forgiveness as the "judicial predicament." He said, "We cannot ignore inconsiderate acts in others yet we cannot execute the penalty of law. We have no right to complete the moral cycle... Although we sense no spiritual inhibition against crying out against injustice, the purity of our moral life deteriorates the moment we attempt to administer justice." Nevertheless the indignation we feel usually gets the upper hand and holds onto the offense, because it would be morally repugnant to make light of the wrong.

Now we can see why the biblical promise of God's judgement is so crucial in helping overcome this craving for revenge. It gives us a way out of the "judicial predicament."

God intervenes as the avenger so that we can acknowledge the crime; but also so that we don't have to be the judge. God's promised vengeance removes the moral legitimacy of our personal cravings for retaliation. God's promise says, "Yes, an outrage has been committed against you.

Yes it deserves to be severely punished. Yes, the person has not yet experienced that punishment. But, No, you must not be the one to punish, and you may not go on relishing personal retribution. Why? Because God will see to it that justice is done. God will repay. You cannot improve on his justice. He sees every angle of the evil done against you - far better than you can see it. His justice will be more thorough than any justice you could administer." If you hold a grudge, you doubt the judge."

When other Christians have done you wrong:

"Therefore when God says, "Vengeance is mine," the meaning is more than we may have thought. God underatakes vengeance against sin not only by means of hell, but also by means of the cross. All sin will be avenged - severely and thoroughly and justly

......I don't need to get even, because [the other person's] sin was laid on Jesus, and he has suffered horribly to bear it for him/her - and for me.

Application

It may be that, as you read this, no long-term grudges come to mind. Perhaps God has remarkably freed you from old hurts and dissapointments and given you the grace to lay them down. But be sure to test yourself about short-term anger as well. Are there repeated present frustrations that may not have the character of long-term bitterness, but are like chronic reappearences of the same short-term anger? Are there traits of your children or your spouse or your church or your boss that week after week provoke you so deeply that you grit your teeth and rehearse in your head all the reasons why this is intolerable and should not go on?

My experience has been that there is as much struggle with unbelief in these short-term, recurrent frustrations as there is in the long-term bitterness for some great abuse or betrayal. Here too we need to trust God's promises in a practical, day-by-day way.

John Piper's 'Future Grace'
Courtesy from Derek Dieu

Here's another one of MC Escher's drawings called "Gravity"  

Bought this replica of a drawing by MC Escher. very visually stimulating.  

Phrase of the day:

me: i'm going to iron the floor.
Bro: you're going to what?
me: Iron the floor. you wanna help?
Bro: you mean vacuum the floor.
me: ya, wasn't that wat i said?
Bro: sigh

Its the debilitating disease of the usage of wrong english words i'm suffering from.

save me.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		6
Receiving Gifts:		4
Acts of Service:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

This Singapore Election Website is quite interesting.

Peruse the political blogs under the links if you have too much time to spare.

ok wait a minute....

RAYNER is a food/culinary critic???


Check this out!

i gave my brother an origami crane.
(for those of you who watch Prison Break, i think its very significant)
haha.

ok, in the show the younger brother would find a crane in the morning left by the older brother- it meant that although he never always saw his brother in person, the older brother was always checking in on him and making sure he was ok. In the show, the cranes stood for familial obligation, watching out for your own.

I thought it was very apt.
so i made a crane for my brother, to tell him just that.
That Jesus is always checking in and making sure he's ok, and so will i.

okay, i'm such a gong.
if i'd known that there was a place in the library called the scholars' centre... just for me.
grrr... i wldn't have to work downstairs with the rest of the general population. (gen pop, they call it in prison break).
HAHA.
i'm working in here from now on. HA.
so cool, i get to swipe my card on the door for access.

call me a gong. haha.

Psalms 13 should be found in lamentations.

"How long O lord? will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long shall i take counsel in my soul
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?"

"how long?"
Have you heard it before?
haha, i have.
i think kids are a good example. "How long til we get to granny's place?" "How long til the movie starts?" How long, how long.
And i realised that children have no concept of minutes or miles. it would seem useless for me to explain how exactly time works.

i think just like a little child- i sometimes ask God... "how long?"
How long must i endure this pain? this hurt? this sickness? this temptation? this sin?
Do i really want God to answer? would i really understand His perfect plan? not in a million years i would think.

Children can't envision the reward either- i can tell my 6 yr old cousins that we'll be at granny's house soon and we'll have really good food to eat. fish maw soup, i said. i love her fish maw soup, and i'd drive 6 hours for my granny's fish maw soup. (if there was 6 hours of driving in singapore)
i can endure the journey because i know the destiny. but my cousins? a whole other story. i try to help them to see what they can't see, i describe the soup and how it tastes absolutely scrumptious.... and how granny cooks it for hours.
And it works! their grumbling decreases as their vision clears.

i think that's what Paul meant by motivation- he had a clear vision of the reward.
"Therefore do not lose heart. Though we are outwardly wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. " 2 cor 4:16-18

And yes, when we compare our lives now to the life we have in Christ- "our days on earth are like shadows" 1 chron 29:15.
our lives are "but a breath" Ps 39:5.
Altho i really doubt Paul's troubles and persecutions in the Roman empire were " light and momentary". more like long and trying ordeals.

I know for some of you the journey has been long. very long and stormy. In no way do i wish to minimize the difficulties that you have had to face along the way. And you are tired and weary.
But God is telling us, " It's worth it.".... God is saying,"I'm worth it"

Yesterday's challenges are lost in today's joy. if only we could see it.
Remember this: God may not do what you want. but he will do what is right... and best.
He's the father of forward motion. Trust Him. He will get you home.
And its ok, close your eyes and rest. The trials of the trip will be lost in the joys of the feast.

The art of losing myself

Law of the urban jungle during the easter weekend:

If you see a chocolate, catch it and eat it before it escapes.

quite disturbed about a conversation i had with someone recently, altho i'm sure that the person didn't mean to deliberately say certain things which meant what they meant.

Picking up on the point of -is anyone going to be in heaven because of you?
This person was talking about the need to serve because people need him/her. And i cautiously mentioned his/her unwillingness to let go of the "title" or job scope might just be the thing that someone else needs to step up and grow. Sometimes 'letting go' has the same connotations as giving up or quitting. But that's a seriously wrong perception.

One is about willingness and surrender, the other is due to the lack of hope or will.
The fact that i want to reiterate is- nobody is going to heaven because of me or you.
Yes, we can do what we can with Go'd's heartbeat that none shall perish. But ultimately the saving power doesn't lie with us. So i don't think that i can elevate myself to that position to say that 'so and so' is saved because of me. In fact, the reason why tonnes of people don't go to church today is because the church is so full of people worshipping themselves and their churches rather then what God has done, is doing and can do.

i can't tidy my room because its been declared a UN world heritage site.

i absolutely detest the idea of studying law, or memorising section this of this and that.
But you can't exactly avoid the subject of law in political science.
Especially not when the unit says: Topics in political theory, political behaviour and political institutions. Gah. kill me.

Thus, the essay i'm typing about the British constitution; or the non-existence of it, is the reason for my pain and agony. everything is dry and boring. not even the picture of Tony Blair i happened to stumble upon.

Anyhoos, Easter is coming- and that'll alleviate some of my pain. hehe.
Plus my new toy! been very excited about it-- thanks dad n mom for the early birthday gift!

why can't i have a dissertation which is also a good topic for over the dinner conversation?

And no, it ain't dessert.

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

Your love is extravagent- by Casting Crowns

When i am weak, You restore me
when i come to the end of myself, Your glory unfolds
when i fall, You pick me up
when i have no hope, You strengthen me
when i feel exhausted, You fill my cup til it overflows.
Jesus, nothing is impossible for You.
Yes, Your love is extravagant.

Though i am young, and cannot tell
Either what Death or Love is well
Yet i have heard they both bear darts,
And both do aim at human hearts
And then again, i have been told
Love wounds with heat, as Death with cold;
So that i fear they do but bring
Extremes to touch, and mean one thing.

As in ruin we it call
One thing to be blown up, or fall;
Or to our end like way may have
By a flash of lightning, or a wave
So Love's inflamed shaft or brand
May kill as soon as Death's cold hand;
Except Love's fires the virtue have
To fright the frost out of the grave.

Ben Jonson 1640-41

Love must be tough.

its not easy... but even heroes have the right to bleed.

Thank you Jesus.

Today was ultra sports marathon.
haha ok not so ultra.
just swimming and badminton.

think i'm getting slower.

Chewing on morsels.

i never knew interview transcripts were so interesting to read.
Until i had to throughly scan thru quite a few for my research. Its amusing how the transcript describes the emotion/ frustration/ fidgety-ness of the interviewee. haha
Now abit stone and drowsy.

i have a long week ahead, seminar presentation on tuesday ;( *ugh*
been thinking about putting ideas running about in my head for my dissertation- think i shld just do it soon and not simply wait for them to dissolve into thin air.

i need colourful ziggy markers- the kind i used in sec school to make my history notes.... they make me slightly more sane, have more inspiration to do my mind-mapping. ;p

Anyhoos, this thing has been on my mind for a very long time already- can you think you know someone but not really know him/her? You are honest and transparent with the person, but you never got the sense that it was returned. I'm never a person who holds petty grudges or counts financial debts, but in restrospect i feel that all the effort put in on my part over the years has just been "abandoned" because of the person's passiveness and unwillingness to step out of his/her comfort zone to acknowledge people who have always been there, yet never appreciated.

I guess the feeling of "taken for granted" sums up my whole experience- not to say i have given up. The friendship is always special and has a place in my heart... if ever he/she opens up, is willing to be honest and be herself/himself with me. Even if that never occurs again, i will still go the extra mile if asked to. i believe you will find yourself and i believe you will accomplish great things. i have always known that to be in you.

That finally aside and off my mind- Easter break is coming.... also means deadlines for dissertation proposal and all other random things will start crashing and clanging in my puny brain.

that didn't make any sense did it?

well, if i could stop reading radical/ extremist Islamic views towards the west and moderate muslim's responses towards global events maybe... just maybe i'll be slightly more coherent.

ok, shut up mishi.
*ugh*

Where's a hole in the earth?

i want to jump in.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of the earth

Will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace.

sailing was a blast! 

See how Faith is enjoying herself?? haha 

A-hoy captain! 

Haven't played netball in ages!
But when i subbed for a friend's team today- i realised how much i miss it.
As far as my secondary and College education goes, i've always been on the netball court at least thrice a week, that makes 12 times or more in a month, and therefore 144 times a year (minimum).

I love the sport.
It's so elegant yet aggressive. (altho non-contact)
Just watch any professional team play- e.g the commonwealth finals between Australia and Singapore and you'll see why the game requires agility and balance.

Anyway, the game was really fast-paced today. It's a mixed-league. So 3 guys maximum out of the 7 players. With guys in the game its much faster- way faster actually.
I was quite out of breath by the end of the 1st half, and the opposition put a fresh pair of legs on me for the second half... haha, by that time i starting running smart. (means, not running so much). hahaha.

Just needed competitive sport to wash away pent up frustration and anger.
Really helps.

I am only me.
Yes, i can feel down.
i can feel lonely and tired.
i can feel that i don't have strength.
i can feel unappreciated.
i can feel emotionally unsupported.

i can feel alot of things.
Yes. i feel.

God, use me in my limited capacity.

Chels and I-- Yay finally!! 

Family ; ) 

I love my new shoes!!  

These shoes are almost heavenly to walk in!
Mom bought them for me yesterday- i love the feel and the comfy-ness.
They had them in white too, but orange had more appeal. (right mari?)
so excited to wear them now.... ;p

P.S Miss koh, the brand is Jo and Max- wonder if they have them in the states? scrumptiously comfy; )

"My Desire"

You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King

You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
then lay it all down before the King

[Chorus:]
This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near

And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use

By Jeremy Camp

Faith is the foot by which we go to Jesus.

A lame foot is still a foot.

He who comes slowly nevertheless comes.

when derell and mavis have grandchildren- it'll look smth like this.  

Extra big for greater slackers.  

Sampan? 

teapot 

Artwork display at Cottesloe beach 

My mind is quite blank- altho there are a couple of issues floating around.

i think sometimes i choose not to deal with it-- either because there is nothing i can do about it, or i just don't want it to affect the way i choose to serve in the ministry.
i suppose after the drama HOD meeting i felt so much more willing to support Roy because i know this is where God has placed me.
Alot of times dealing with the backstage and being in the background gives so much fulfilment and satisfaction. You see people grow and take up the challenge, you see new people and old people, you just do your best.

This is the people-loving business. i've never felt like i wanted to run cell like an announcements booth or a number boosting scheme. And i don't want to lose this inital cause for why i'm still doing what i am.

He first gave.

The choice we all make is this: either we're good enough on our own, through our belief system and morality, to make it to heaven; or we're not, and we have to cast ourselves on the mercy of God through Christ to get there. Those are the only 2 systems of religion in the world. One is a religion of human merit; the other recognizes that we find true merit in Christ alone, and it comes to the sinner only by grace. There may be a thousand different religious names and terms, but only 2 religions really exist. There is the truth of divine accomplishment, which says God has done it all in Christ, and there is the lie of human achievement, which says we have some sort of hand in saving ourselves. One is the religion of grace, the other the religion of works. One offers salvation by faith alone; the other offers salvation by the flesh.

John MacArthur- "Jesus, the Lord"

"Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

How true indeed.

Majesty, Majesty

Your grace has found me just as i am

Empty-handed but alive in your hands.

My very own Bible Handbook/Commentary- bought at a very good price from koorong. so satisfied and proud that i finally got myself a commentary + Historical reference. ; )  

Whoever invented the Honours Program meant for ordinary people to undergo gruelling torture.
Anyway, i've had to sit thru 2 seminars so far already- and my american-slanged lecturer thinks he's quite funny. but actually i do laugh, cos he's really such a funny sight. He's tall, has a greying moustache (a lil' sticking out from the bottom lip), big round specs, and his favourite word is "interesting". haha.
My supervisor's Samina... *yay* Altho i think she's too busy to remember to pay me for some research i'm doing for her... but that's fine cos she's always inviting me to dinner at her house in Dalkeith! haha i wonder if Pakistani food has a distinct cuisine to it. like jap food or thai food. hahah. i'll need to find out. ; )

i shan't reveal my possible honours dissertation topics here... but i've got interesting (said in the american way) topics lined up!! hehe. Shall attempt to enjoy the research but loathe the workload. ; )

i can't think of enough words to describe you.
you make me so mad.
Don't push your responsibilities to me.
You are already my responsibility.
When will you grow up?
Don't you think you're very ignorant?
Do you choose to be this way?

DO'nt tell me you don't know.
i absolutely detest the words "don't know".
you use them too often to shirk away.
You make it seem my fault.
you are so hard to love.
so difficult to please.
too grown up to chide.
too young to understand.

God give me strength.....

Dear mishi,
It is at times when you feel the most safe that you are reminded of your past and the things that hold you back. such fear and such insecurity... you always tell yourself "oh no, not again Lord" ... it is almost that you think God is putting u thru endless tests, trials, misery... but the matter of fact is that you compromise. You tell yourself that its ok that God is faithful and that you are not. You convince yourself once in a while that many things are in grey areas. Then you regret, because you know that His heart grieves. you know that He sees and He knows even your innermost thoughts, your feelings. even before a word is on your tongue... He knows.
Isit simply human to err, isit human to neglect... is just human to ignore? Many times you're tired, you're just so frustrated at people and ultimately angry at yourself.
Have you lost the first love? You want to tremble in His presence, you want intimacy... but you stop at the door when He invites you into the inner courts.
Haven't you heard? Better is one day in His courts den a thousand elsewhere. Have you spent your days elsewhere? Have you forgotten his everlasting love when you were unloved?
How could you forget His love? How could you forget His mercy?
He satisfies your desires... great is the measure of our Father's love.
Even when you've strayed away, His love has brought you back and found you....
He satisfies.
Yes mishi.... He does.

Having you by my side

much a painful plight

at times a joyous ride

Flesh and blood they say

give us reason to believe

indeed love is the way

despite much grieve

There is satisfaction in life

Safely in His arms

warm in the embrace

of His mercy and grace.

Psalms 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills-

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let you foot slip-

he who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you-

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm-

he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

ONE DAY AT A TIME MISHI.......

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall lack nothing..."

Presenting our latest furniture addition- the multi-coloured sofa! It's also multi-purposed as a sofa bed; ) Adds a kinda homely, comfy feeling to the living room. I like.  

This may not be an international-award winning dish, but its really yummy! It's my lunch on most days and supper on some wintery nights. See the egg nestled lovingly among the noodles? i like it slightly runny so i can poke it and slurp it up! ; ) Cheers for Ramen.  

This is our lil' rustic home... plenty of bird activity outside, esp in the wee hours of the morning. that's the new shoe rack from Ikea. ;p